Spiderman + Giant Robot = Awesome on a level never experienced by humanity before.

Oh, John... here is the game review site I was talking about. He does everything, including the 2600 section.

http://www.videogamecritic.net/index.htm

Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow.
When did Spiderman get a fucking robot?!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow!

Friday April 17th at the Canton Palace theater they are having a 3 Stooges film festival! So who is in with me? I know that Scott is in, what about the rest of you knuckleheads? I mean 3 Stooges on actual film in a theater!

Farve - That works for me. I should be around most of Friday night, so just give me a call. Oh and I completely forgot to let you know that we had to put Molly down on Monday. She was really sick. :(

sorry john i've been gone latey i will give u a call fri. and swing by .
Jeremy how r the dogs and u doing ?
hi to all the rest of u guys.

MY GOD THE AWESOMENESS HAS KILLED MY BRAIN CELLS........

Jeremy - That Man from UNCLE box set looks awesome! Oh and so does this.





Farve - Dude I don't know if you missed the old post but you won another DVD from Gutmunchers. You need to let me know how I can get it to you. And no I'm not spending money to mail it to someone who lives a couple blocks away from me! :)

This looks cool in a sort of retarded way. I might go to the theaters if it is playing anywhere around here.

The Elyria Library has the 41-disk Man from U.N.C.L.E. box set. =o
No holds, though.

I may be making a road trip... library tour of another Clevnet branch. Yeah. That's the ticket.

Farve - I don't know if you were trying to insert a link or something, but it doesn't seem to have worked. What did you want us to check out?

The new podcast is up and I'm sort of proud of it, so here is another link to the player.


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There is something awesome about this photo.

I wonder how many bodies they've dredged up doing this?

john have u seen this

Bloody Mallory?

Before I forget this is the cool movie site that I've been talking about.

Why doesn't anything cool like this ever happen to me?

ha ha that was funny

Farve - That was cool.

Dr. Fawkes - Rue the day sir. You shall rue the day you tangled with me. :P

"Where the hell is Farve?" John wondered, as he tossed some tissues into the trash can. "I'm wasting all this material without him around." John frowned, and put the cap back on the hand lotion.

here u go jon

A couple of things here.

1. Jeremy you threaten to show them your wangdoodles, there is a difference.

2. Dunesmuggler you didn't know that Farva was a part time fairy? He didn't get paid or anything, he did it for the childrens. :)

Where the hell is Farve? I'm wasting all this material without him around. :(

It was his diabeetus.
When his blood sugar gets too high, he gets all crazy like that.
It was at least 250 in that photo.

I'm not going to apologize about the Oompa-Loompas, though. I've got a lot of work to do here, and they work cheaper than even illegal Mexicans. They're also handy to work in crawlspaces, or to send down the heating vents to recover dropped screws. I don't have to keep them chained up, either- all I had to do is tell them we've got whangdoodles all over the place outside, and they won't even leave the house.

*Looks at the picture that John posted for a few moments*


So.... that's what happened to Farva.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan and van Damme met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Peter takes them through and shows them around - Chan and van Damme ooh and aah, Chuck Norris just keeps mum. Then Peter brings them before God. He points to two thrones: one to the right of God and one to the left of God. God speaks in a booming voice -

"One of you will sit on my right, and the other will sit on my left, the third will have to go home. Try and convince me that you deserve the seat of your choice more than the other."

van Damme goes first "I am a kickboxer par excellence, I have acted in many movies, but since I know that you reward meekness and humility, I will take the smaller throne to your left, and serve you for eternity!"

God is suitably impressed and he smiles.

Chan tries to one-up van Damme and tells God that he won't choose either seat and let the other 2 take them. God is happy with his answer and offers him the seat to his right.

God then asks Chuck Norris to step forward and present his case - Chuck Norris stares coldly at God and asks Peter "Who is that old guy sitting in my seat?"

I don't remember that scene in Willy Wonka.

Yes they are awesome, but this will blow your mind.....

Well I know what airline Scott is going to be flying from now on! :)



Northwest airlines now with more Penis.

I may need to get that book.

http://www.amazon.com/Pride-Prejudice-Zombies-Classic-Ultraviolent/dp/1594743347/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1236092341&sr=8-1

No...words...should have sent a poet.

John, I think we found your 2nd book review for the site.

Glad to hear your father's doing better.

It was another stent to open up a blockage. This makes 18.

John,
Glad to hear your Dad is doing OK.
What was he in for, anyway? Another blockage?
Surgery? Did they put another stint in?

Everyone have a great weekend. I'm going home and going to catch up on some sleep. At least that is the plan. :P

Farve - You are a wiener! I have a copy of Epitaph for you. Let me know when you can pick it up. Congrats.

Dave - Weapon Brown is in my office. I did bring it back. :)

Okay so here is why I hate hospitals.

My father gets checked into Timken Mercy on Tuesday night. They literally have no beds and when they do have room for him they put him in with a psycho. Seriously this guy sits in his bed and says to no one in particular, "I told them not to put anyone in here. Some one is going to pay." My dad can't sleep at all, and the couple of times he closes his eyes he opens them to find the guy staring at him from the edge of his bed! My father, who is in there for chest pain, ends up sleeping in the waiting room the night before he goes in for surgery.

The next day they were all tripping over themselves to apologize. That is except for the patient advocate (who works for the hospital, what a joke that is) who wants to defend the staff and has the nerve to say that they couldn't not treat the nut job. Then on Thursday because they are still having issues with available beds they send my father home at 1 p.m. less than 24 hours after surgery (which they never do). I mean why send patients elsewhere when you can bill two people for the same bed. Bastards.

Anyway he is home and resting now. But Timken Mercy certainly caused a lot of stress and grief to a man that didn't need it.

How's your father doing John?

P.S.- Hospitals make great places to pass out religious texts.

Dude that is awesome. I so need to print some of these out and leave them around town as "tips" like they used to do with those Chick Tracts back in the 70s!

http://www.fredvanlente.com/downloads/WhyWeHere.pdf

Chick Lovecraft Tract

I'm doing ok.
Getting better but still in pain.

Well I would imagine you can web surf. Will it allow you to download and update plug ins? That was always the big failing for us when we were looking at that sort of appliance or device here at work. Everything is web based and if you can't keep your browser current you quickly end up with a solitaire machine. :)

I don't remember the make and model... I'd have to look at one again. It's some wireless tablet-PC deal running a stripped-down version of Windows. Touchscreen. Awesome for Solitaire and Crayon Physics, but I guess you can do actual work on them, too.

Sweet. What kind of hand held are they using? Is this for the staff or are you guys just demoing it?

Oh and Gutmunchers looks good on everything.... Oh yeah.

I'm posting this from a handheld in Rittman. Guttmunchers looks great on the small-screen. (And I lol'd at the new comic.)

Jeremy - Two observations.

1. I had hoped that the zombie Wii game would rule, but most zombie games fail for the reasons you pointed out. Thanks for saving me the money that I would have spent buying a Wii for a shitty game.

2. That was an excellent review. If you handle your eventual anime reviews like that you will be miles ahead of most of the other reviewers.

ps: Talk to Jen if you see this at work. Tis Friday and the buffet is calling to me.


Scott - How are you feeling today? I hope that none of your other organs has been possessed with a homicidal rage and is trying to kill you. Also wanted to let you know that I put up another of your reviews today (Zombie Strippers). Cheers.


And to end things here is another killer cartoon...

You laughed and yes, you are going to hell. AnotherRandomDay.com

I gave it a play last night. I must say it's a bit disappointing.

It's a "Samurai Warriors" engine- large numbers of identical, easy-to-beat enemies that you hack through with swords. Which can work... but what made Samurai Warriors great is a hindrance. The Wii is a glorified Gamecube at the core, and doesn't have the power to control dozens of enemies on screen at a time to give the "oh shit mob" effect the SW games did. You end up with an unimpressive number of enemies, and the graphics turned down so low you're more likely to be ripped apart by the jagged edges than the zombies.

It relies heavily on the "barriers appear to trap you in a zone till you kill everything" method, and has an annoying power-up mode that activates automatically and actually kills you as you use it. If you don't have an item to stop it, or can get to one of the few save points in time, you die.

Very limited number of attacks, as it uses the Wiimote to control sword swings. But it only has one swing- a vertical waggle of the wii. No changing up between vertical, horizontal, or lunging movements. Your one sword move is controlled by how many times you swing the remote up and down. There are a limited number of secondary attacks available using the other hand, but they're generally weak or annoying- you end up just sticking with the sword.

Got bored within a half-an-hour. Popped in Chocobo's Dungeon instead. Why? Because I'm a Final Fantasy whore. It's an overly-cutesy game with big, bright, cartoony graphics and voice acting on-par with the Dragon Ball Z dub. I figured with the graphics it was kind of like Dungeon Crawler Light, or an RPG aimed towards kids. If it is a kid's game, apparently the Japanese hate children.

It's basically a 3-D version of the old DOS game "Rogue." (Or NetHack, or Moria, or whichever one you remember where you move around a grid- you make one move, the enemy takes one move, etc.) The story line is average so far, but not the worst I've seen, and the gameplay is the old dungeon crawl. Maps are generated at random, so sometimes you appear in a dungeon standing right next to the stairs leading down to the next level. Other times you get gangraped by a room full of nasty. Repeat for 40+ hours.

I'm going to get Deadly Creatures next. It's got surprisingly good reviews for a game who's premise is about as simple and pure as "Snakes on a Plane."

Apparently you play as a spider. Or a scorpion. And you wander around down kicking random other creature's asses, because that's what pissed off venomous arachnids do for fun.

When I'm feeling better I may be over to play that.

Zombie game for the Wii...... Must own it now.

Did they give you a copy?
If you put a funny caption on that picture, you may have the world's first Lolpendix pic.

Speaking of zombies...
Just got Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers for the Wii.
No idea if it's any good... haven't had time to play it yet.
But it was worth a shot just for the name.

Actually, it was up a lot further than it would normally have been.... and in the pictures it did seem to have a face.... holy shit! It was going for my heart!

Yes well see it didn't crawl towards the wang. Which of course means it is straight and all good with the Jeebus crowd. :P

Damn you Gaggins I've learned from extensive zombie movies that you can sort of call that entire area the chest cavity and stuff. Bastage. :)

Holy crap. Scott's appendix tried to kill him? And it got into chest? Jesus... it must have been crawling towards his heart. It's good they caught it in time. They're sneaky bastards like that.

i will be coming to get the rest of my stuff at 12 Fri.

Work for the site and almost die!

Just an FYI Scott is in the hospital. Don't worry Jeremy it isn't a hamburger related injury. His appendix required a new view, from outside his chest cavity! He has been in the hospital since Monday (I think) and should be coming home soon. Just thought I would mention it. :)

I thought this blog was all about change now?

Also, Weapon Brown is still back.

i have the Internet
i want a cookie

I'm glad Jen talked her friend out of "Babe: Pig in the City" as her challenge against Rule 34. We all already know it's out there, but I really didn't want to go looking for that. And I don't think anyone wanted to see it.

It is good to know that it isn't only my Beagle that is evil..... So you see then it isn't my fault.



but at least he is quiet.



Oh and what would have happened if Molly and Wolfgang were both "fixed"

i live sort of .

http://www.whatisdeepfried.com/
Weapon Brown is updating again.

Thanks Bubbles I appreciate that. Every little bit helps.

John, I added your Website to StumbleUpon so hopefully you'll see a increase in hits.

27 - 23

Lombardi Trophy #6

More Super Bowl Championships than any other NFL franchise...

Hell Yeah!

That is all I have to say about that.

So I'm sure you guys really don't care but I've started a new crappy podcast. It is available to download on iTunes (you need to click on the short cut on my website to get it). Or of course you could just stream it here.


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"In the meantime, if you're driving in Austin, you can rest assured: There are no zombies ahead."

Damnit!

Fox News has the best stories sometimes. At least their headlines are cool....

Is it just me, or does the script of every episode of Deadwood sound like it was written by a Jr. High student who'd just discovered how towtally awezome!!1 it is to say naughty words?

Hey! I'm just the messanger.
Besides, that was hardly Hell-worthy.

The one of the alien from Lilo & Stitch raping Bambi... now... that's a first-class ticket.

Jennifer says you are a perv and going to burn in hell. Yet despite my warnings she had to see the images.

Rule 34. There is porn of it, no exceptions.

John,

It's no surprise that your wife was going to lose this challenge. Apparently Anne of Green Gables was also given the Anime treatment. Having an Anime exist of the subject increases the creepy level to about 9000.

I'm a bit upset at the poor quality, though. I'd expected far better from creepy doujinshi artists, But, none the less... it exists:



SPOILER ALERT: Clicking on the above photo may damage those with little internets experience. For everyone else, it's pretty meh.


Rule 43. The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.
(Tell Jen 'Hi' for me.)

cool background on your site jon.

You laughed and yes, you are going to hell. AnotherRandomDay.com

This made me laugh because it invoked the image of Tentacles and picked on Scientology.

ABORT! ABORT!

T-Minus 4 hours 50 minutes...

Hey Jeremy and Farve. I'm thinking that you guys should show up around 4. I'll have the food mostly finished and the game starts at 4:45, so that should work well. Call me if you have any questions.

-John

Farve - I'm glad you enjoyed the movie. I would suggest that you use the spell check function as I'm not sure anyone that isn't familar with Farvaese would understand your post. :)

Well everyone here it is January. The Clowns fans are home thinking about their new coach and yet again another fresh start to build the organization. In the meantime the Steelers are preparing for another playoff run. Sure they might not get to the big show but at least we have a couple more weeks of fun!



Later

-John

hey jon that move was the cooles thing i,ve seen in a long time!
i would highly sagest eden lake

One final post for now. Here is a video game movie I think we can all get behind.



Night everyone.

Jeremy - Yeah I think we will see the Blue Ray players come down even more. They are pushing this technology really hard. Those thinking that this will be another Laser Disc or Beta format are kidding themselves. I mean could either of them play your VHS tapes? No of course not plus you have the PS3 helping to drive sales. I will have my Blue Ray player soon, especially when I get the companies to start sending me free Blue Ray discs.

Okay I think that I enjoy the look of the new blog. Looks nice, though the Anal raping thing seems a bit much. I mean Farve might dig it, but the rest of us? :)

I agree that 2009 could be a good year for movies, but not because of any gay DragonBall Z live action mess. BTW was that Chow Yun Fat? If so he is so less cool in my eyes. Any way check this shit out!



Yeah I know it is a remake. But as an expert on horror movies (hell I have my own website damn it!) Slasher movies are hard to screw up. Take pretty people, have the women get naked, and kill them in creatively gruesome ways. Not hard at all. Plus the early buzz is good from fans who have seen rough cuts. Speaking of good buzz...



Lionsgate has been going out of there way to show this to members of horror magazines and some of the bigger websites. They want the fans to see it and spread the word, because this looks to be a big winner. I'm hoping they both are, because knowing how Hollywood works they will crank out at least a years worth of new Slasher movies. And if these movies clean up (both being rated R and gory as hell) then I might actually get to see something in the theater that I'd be excited about.

Oh and for those interested in homoerotic boy wizard stuff (Farve) here is something for you.



Later guys.

-John

Y'know... I did I quick GIS looking for a different "You win!" image... but this one just seems... appropriate...

yes i won!!!

Nailed it, John. It's not even a week into January and Blu-Ray players are available for $169.
(Not that there was any doubt that the price was going to keep falling...)

The clear winner.

John,

I think this template is wide enough to eliminate most of those clipped images from the narrower black template.

Any changes to the links, text color, or graphics, just let me know.

If they only work that meme somewhere into the movie, it may be worth seeing, if just to have half the audience yell it at the same time. It could be that movie's "I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!" Except only a tenth of the awesome. Unless we get to still see Bulma's tits.

I predict this to be the the greatest Dragonball movie of all time. And released straight to video like the rest.

I also like that Goku, the alien invader sent as a child to destroy the world, is a white guy. Just thought I'd point that out.

This looks like it will be strong competition to the new Street Fighter movie.

Hell yes, this is the shit I'm talking about.

Washington, Washington
Twelve stories high
Made of radiation
The present beware,
The future beware
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming...

eh, your music stops working for one day. From what I gathered, this is just another wonderful result of DRM on our music players. So I think this is just some PlaysForSure karma. Also, at least a Microsoft product lasts long enough to see a leap year, instead of having a battery that dies after 18 months. (because you're to have given apple more money by then).
That said, the iPod touch is pretty fricking rocking (minus the goddamn itunes requirement), and I think if they had one for about $150-200 I'd be all over it.

1 round for a colossal stone golem? I think not. Lincoln would eat your face while Teddy rapes your corpse. Washington would use your spine to chop down a cherry tree, and Jefferson... I don't know. He'd father some illegitimate children or grow some pot. Hard to say which.

Happy New Year!


And Nergle would totally take that Mt. Rushmore monster out in one round.

All right can we all agree now that Microsoft sucks and that Apple is a superior product? I still can't figure out why Microsoft didn't worry about the millennium but I'll give them a break. But now they forgot about leap year!

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,474690,00.html

So in conclusion Microsoft sucks, go iPod.

Happy New Year guys.

-John