Published by Jeremy Happy Birthday Chuck Norris on 3/10/2009 07:15:00 AM
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan and van Damme met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Peter takes them through and shows them around - Chan and van Damme ooh and aah, Chuck Norris just keeps mum. Then Peter brings them before God. He points to two thrones: one to the right of God and one to the left of God. God speaks in a booming voice -
"One of you will sit on my right, and the other will sit on my left, the third will have to go home. Try and convince me that you deserve the seat of your choice more than the other."
van Damme goes first "I am a kickboxer par excellence, I have acted in many movies, but since I know that you reward meekness and humility, I will take the smaller throne to your left, and serve you for eternity!"
God is suitably impressed and he smiles.
Chan tries to one-up van Damme and tells God that he won't choose either seat and let the other 2 take them. God is happy with his answer and offers him the seat to his right.
God then asks Chuck Norris to step forward and present his case - Chuck Norris stares coldly at God and asks Peter "Who is that old guy sitting in my seat?"