Mmmm.... hot zombie chicks....

Is it just me, or does the guy getting his balls stomped look way too happy?

why all the gay on the blog ?

Hah!


Penis.

Generally anything that doesn't involve rolling extra dice (Sneak Attack, Elemental enchants, etc... ) gets multiplied. Smite is a straight +Damage, so it'd be treated just like any other plus.

Got a D&D question for you guys....

Is a Paladin's Smite damage multiplied on a critical hit?

I know D&D's over, but I had to share

For this tactic, you just need to be a 7th-level human wizard, and you don't even need an artifact for it. Take Energy Substitution: electricity or sonic (Complete Arcane), Explosive Spell (Complete Arcane), Born of Three Thunders (Complete Arcane), Flash Frost (Player's Handbook II), and Snowcasting (Frostburn) as your feats. Make sure you have Locate City (Races of Destiny) and Lesser Globe of Invulnerability on your spell list.Prepare all of your spell slots with Energy Substituted (electricity or sonic), Born of Three Thunders, Flash Frost Locate City spells. Save all of your 4th-level slots for Lesser Globe of Invulnerability. Cast LGoI so you'll be immune to the havoc you'll be causing. Now grab some ice from the freezer and cast Locate City. Because of Snowcasting, it gets the [cold] subtype, but because of Energy substitution, it instead has either the [electricity] or [sonic] subtype. Flash Frost makes it deal 2 cold damage to everyone in the area, which then gets converted to 2 electricity or sonic damage. Born of Three Thunders makes that 1 electricity and 1 sonic, and forces a Fortitude save against being stunned and forces a Reflex save against being knocked prone. Explosive Spell only affects spells that force a Reflex save, so we've got that covered.Locate City affects a 10-mile/level radius, centered on you. At caster level 7th, that's a 70-mile radius, or a 369,600-foot radius. So you'll be doing 1 electricity damage and 1 sonic damage. Anyone who fails both the Fortitude save and the Reflex save will be pushed to the nearest edge of the area, taking 1d6 damage for every 10 feet moved. That's going to be a very forceful and painful trip indeed.Once you cast it, all structures in a 70-mile radius will get utterly destroyed, and approximately half the population will fail their saves and violently get killed

the new Harold & Kumar move is out in town do u want to do that and food Friday shazts???

So... I guess that means that Dirk Diggler the d20 Dentist (this could only be better if he was a dwarf, but someone had to be racist) survives? Woo-hoo!

(well...I guess he could have been Drow, and specialized in Dwarven Dentistry)

So.... we are quitting gaming on the night I get together with you guys?

Honestly I've seen a lack of motivation on the parts of several members of our gaming group. It is pretty clear that this is something that people are doing more out of habit then enjoyment. That makes it hard for me to put any effort into preparing for the game. Now that being said if people want to get together and bullshit once a week I would be down for that.

Just my two cents.

-John

I know I myself am pretty bored of D&D.

Guess not.

So, does anyone still want to play this game? I know I'm getting a bit bored of it all again, and wouldn't mind having a day back. Especially since we seem to be having increasing difficulty in getting everyone together on Monday.

Do we want to change days? Meet less-frequently for one-shot deals or board /card games? Try to keep going? Or just call it quits?

So no game tonight then right?

Some stuff came up and I can't make it tonight.

Dustin said he had the whole day off today, so he should be here if people still want to play.

Scott, you're asking, so I assume you're interested. Bubbles? You out there today?

Hey guys,
Is the game on tonight?

that right!! i love pork.

Hey guys I'm beat today and it is only lunchtime. I don't know if it is allergies or not enough sleep, but I'm going to go home and go to bed after work today, so I'll not be around tonight.

Farva - If the weather permits were you planning on coming over Saturday morning to do the yard work? Let me know please.

Dustin - Hey homo.... Sorry that is all I had for you. I hope that work isn't killing you. With all this nice weather I'm sure the kitchen has been just a bit cooler than the surface of the frigging sun!

Later all

dude not me dusten is the one that wants to go to jail ..... i'm not a homo .

God damn Jeremy how did you catch that? I'm a huge Monster Squad Fan and even I didn't notice that.

See... the Philippines know how to handle their prison population. They rehabilitate them as backup dancers so they can enter the work force when they are released.

I wonder how they picked which prisoner was going to dress as the chick?


And did Andre Gower do an Atari commercial? (2:54)

New favorite song



and some oldies

Sweet I need to get me one of these!

So is this why Farve tempted going to prison for driving illegally for all those months?

If we aren't playing then I'm just going to head home.

dusten just call the game . he siad he could not make it . if u all want to come over and hangout or wacth a move come on over.

So I'm not making any judgments here. While I appreciate the bilingual signs don't you think they should of hired a proofreader?

Shit so that means to get the full effect I would have to open my own pawn shop? That just seems like too much work to get cheap DVDs and out of print VHS tapes. :(

So I had mentioned to Farve that tonight could maybe be a good night to ritually char animal flesh and watch a movie. What do you guys think?

I thought these things were supposed to give someone like me a chance to purchase poor peoples prized possessions for next to nothing!

No, no... you've got it all backwards. They allow the owner of the pawn shop to purchase poor people's prized possessions for next to nothing.

They're just nice enough to let you pick through the crap they don't want.

Double post for the win!!!!

Farve - Dude I wonder to myself why I left my phone number on the big erase board and asked you to call me about mowing the yard? Oh wait that is because I wanted you to call me! :P So either tonight or Saturday morning/early afternoon would work best for us. Let me know (phone call please) when works best for you.

Now the time has come for a rant.

I finally got a chance to check out the pawn shop.... wait my bad CONSIGNMENT shop here in town. I thought these things were supposed to give someone like me a chance to purchase poor peoples prized possessions for next to nothing! That dude wants $2.50 per VHS tape and $5 per DVD for his used stuff. Not only does his selection suck ass, but he wants those prices for DVDs that were only .99 at Wal*Mart just a few weeks ago. What the hell is up with that? Complete and utter bullshit I say.

On a side note while browsing thru the electronics I found a dual deck VCR that looked oddly familiar. The owner said it was an ultra rare dubbing model and that he couldn't part with it for less than $60. :)

Later dudes.

ok thats kool
shazts call if u want me to come do the lawn?

ok thats kool
shazts call if u want me to come do the lawn?

Strippers, Jenna Jameson, Robert Englund, and Zombies. Yeah I'm there dude!

bub just called hes not going to make it hes sick.

Holy crap Jeremy that would make an awesome movie! :P

See you guys tonight for round 2 of The Keep on the Borderlands.

Woot!

Don' touch de plant Señor. No, eet bad.
You get all eechy. No calamine down here een Meehico.
You will scratch eet. An then eet will spread. To your feengers, or something.

One time mi amigo Miguel touched the plant, an then he went to go pee an touched hes weener. Hav you ever had an eechy weener, Señor? No, eet bad.



Edit: Forgot to add the "Imma' monstar plant" CGIs.

Yo cockgobblers you guys want to see a movie tonight? I think Jenny and I want to see the Ruins. You know it is a monster movie so I'm interested! Let me know.

-John

Sweet another classic.

Got to love the youtube!

Hey guys... check out my friends comedy group.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=9DSuDvL-XTU

Leave some nice feedback if ya wanna... beware though, Youtube went psycho on me the other day and repeated my post like 5 times.

Take care.

MOST AWESOME RICKROLL EVAR! =D

SP looks amusing, too. Getting it now.

Damn it just when you think that Blizzard sucks they pull you back in.

http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/moltencore/

I suppose I'll be dusting off the 2600 again.

Oh yeah you guys have got to download this weeks South Park.

Hey John,

Sorry to hear about your Dads heart attack, but glad to hear that he's doing alright now.

Take care man.

-Scott

I just wanted to follow up and let you guys know about this past Monday. My father had a heart attack on Sunday and went into surgery on Monday. Things weren't going well and I had to run out to Canton to be with my Mom. He is fine now and should be coming home soon. But that is why I couldn't make it on Monday. It really bummed me out because I was looking forward to seeing what suicidal strategy you were going to attempt this week!

Dustin - Dude I need you to call me tonight. I've left my cell and home numbers with Farve (who put them on the board). I need to confirm weekend plans with you asap! I plan on picking you up at 12:30 on Friday to head up to the show. Since you don't have wheels right now you don't want to miss your ride. This time Ed and Runk are going to be in town early enough to grab some food before the show starts. Plus they overbook the Motel 6 and we don't want to miss out on a room. Still I need you to call me anytime before 11:30 pm. Thanks.

Bubbles - Dude I hope you feel better.

Jeremy - Hey man are you and Farve maybe up for grabbing some food tonight? I would like to grab the iPod off of you and visit some. If you want I'll eat a light lunch and we can destroy the buffet! Let me know.

Later dudes.

ps: Scott I love rainbows :)

Woo Hoo!

I found out before I showed up!

John wanted me to post on the Blog (basically, for Scott...) that he would not be able to make it to the game tonight.

I was also going to be about an hour late. And it looks like Bubs is out, too.

Game will be on hold for this week.

Sorry guys but I'm not going to be showing up tonight, stomach is all tore up.

John,

I figured out Dave's Nano. The scroll-wheel connector was barely holding on, and the pressure on the ribbon cable just sliding the headphone jack back in kept popping it loose. I ended up having to wedge it in place with a piece of paper between the connector and the shell.

Your 3G was a piece of cake, though. Bring a charger cable and we can check it out Monday.


Scott,

I'm sorry for making fun of rainbows. After much... uh... study... I agree with your views and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.


(Farva still has a gay man's taste, though.)




(A gay man's taste for cawk! Oooh!)

You've seen this, right John?

http://www.poultrygeistmovie.com/

It looks right up yer alley.

Totally gay!

bored

The 10 Most Insane, Child-Warping Moments of '80s Cartoons

My favorite is number six.

S'alright. I ended up working till 6PM anyway, and I'm not sure if I'm even still doing the rabbit thing. Laziness wins, as Easter is this weekend and I never did pick up any nice bunnies to roast.

Maybe, if the local butchers have anything in stock, but I highly doubt they carry whole rabbits. I don't feel like running out-of-town just to get one.

Hey guys. Jennifer and I need to run to Canton tonight to take care of some stuff. Since I work all weekend we have to do it tonight. Sorry for the late notice but we won't be able to hang out tonight. I also just realized that I work on Sunday (Easter) so there will be no ritual cooked rabbit for me.

If I survive the weekend I'll see you guys on Monday.

-John

John,

Looks like G1 and G2 models used one type of battery, and the G3s used another, so I'll need to know which you've got. It does look like it uses a small two-pin connector- kind of like a computer fan, so replacing it should be a snap.

G3 batteries are dirt cheap. I can pick them up for about a buck plus shipping. G1 or G2s are closer to $20 shipped.

According to Apple's page, if it has a dock connector on the bottom it's a 3G.

Tell ya' what... just cover the cost of the battery and I'll pop it in no charge.

Jeremy -

My iPod information is

10 GIG
serial # JQ3384B4NRH

It doesn't appear that Apple keeps model information for the old iPods on the site anymore. If you can figure out how much a battery will cost for it we can negotiate a price. I suppose I could fix it myself, but I'm a lazy bastage so I'll pay you to fix it :)

Bubbles: Until I get the actual model/gen of your iPod I can't say for sure, but it looks like the replacement LCDs would run about $20-30. (Shipped.)

John: Replacement batteries I think I can get for under $10. (Again, can't be positive without a model/gen, but that looks about right for all editions.)

Dave: The screen for your Nano was ordered. $15 shipped. And it comes with a nylon tool for cracking the case open without scratching it.

This Walrus is cooler than all of us..... Sad very sad.

Well it is noon on St. Patricks day and I'm completely sober. WTF?

Scott - I plan on playing the game for a while or at least until I get bored of you all again. You can play your gnome priest, but he can't have any of the following attributes.

1. Small business owner. You can't have yet another character start a small business by carrying all sorts of shit back to town. You have done this one to death.

2. Musical instrument. Dude don't even think of playing music. Now if you want to inspire everyone with Gnomish poetry then go for it. In fact if it amuses me I will give you much extra xp!

I've dusted off a few classic modules for this campagin. That means you really shouldn't expect an epic story line. This is old school D and D so lets just nerd out and recapture my youth! So anyone want to order pizza tonight? :)

Hey guys...
I figured out what I'm playing. A Gnomish cleric who worships the "Great Creator".
I thought it worked well since the death of a great creator is the reason this game was being started.

He's going to be neutral and his domains are Earth and Fire (Sorta symbolic of what creation was forged from).

Just thought I'd let ya all know.

[Video Killed Because it was Farkin' Annoying]
-Bill 4 First Lady

You mean the poncy lad who died foolishly with honor, avenging his plow horse noble steed!

[Parn] - "Who was that again?"

[Celestial Horse] - "That was the poncy lad that ran past everyone retreating and into combat."

[Parn] - "Oh, that's right. Should I feel bad about that one?"

[Celestial Horse] - "Neigh."

What's the starting gold for the Gestout game? (For those of us who had their die when the healer ran)

How long are we gonna be playing this game and what alignments can we be?

I can make up a deity too right? Or something else that I follow?

I was thinking of making a Cleric who would eventually be a Mystic Theurge... who sort of worships the Cosmos... sorta a hippy type maybe.

Sorry no non-core stuff. That is the only way I'll keep some people from asking me for goofy shit all the time.

The end of times? That must explain the South American Gnome sightings!

*Blinks*
I..... I could..... I could read a sentence that Farva wrote....

see was not me asking for noncore shit..

Yep I was talking about one huge freaking ax. I've decided to go with Paladin/Scout for the gestout game, wanted to do Warlock/Pally, but warlocks have to be evil or chaotic :(

Still no clue what I'm playing for the other game.

John, if i can get permission to get a non-core rule book feat at second level, then im gonna play a fighter. If I cant get permission, then I'm going play a mage or healer.

Heres the feat,
Oversized Two-Weapon Fighting [Complete Adventurer]
You are adept at wielding larger than normal weapons in your off hand.
Prerequisite: Str 13, Two-Weapon Fighting.
Benefit: When wielding a one-handed weapon in your off hand, you take penalties for fighting with two weapons as if you were wielding a light weapon in your off hand

Scott: A double-weapon, like a quarterstaff, can either be used as a two-handed thwacking stick for 1.5x Str or it is treated like a if wielding a one-handed weapon and a light weapon- all the two-weapon penalties, 1x / .5x Str.

And I'm playing a Dwarf.
A muthafuckin' pirate Dwarf.



(Yarr!)

What will eventually be a multi-classed Darf Sorcerer/Rogue/Fighter dealyo. Maybe.
First level will be Sorcerer, though. Why sorcerer? Because it'd take four levels of Ranger to get me a farkin' parrot, that's why! (And Druid doesn't make a damn bit of sense.)

Sorcerer could give me some sweet spells for a pirate, though. Animate Rope? Alarm? Detect Secret Doors? Obscuring Mist? Identify? Unseen Servant? Damn first level was an awesome level. Why does 2nd have to suck so hard? I'm going to need a ring of Wizardry. Or two.)

Edit: Wait... shit. Sorcerers are all about Charisma and I'm dog ugly.
Like... CHA 5. You wanna' fight about it? Shit... I don't wanna' be pretty! And druids don't make any sense! Grr...

I guess it's going to have to be a Wizard, then. 0 and 1st level scrolls are cheap as piss to make. Maybe I can just stock up on 'em and get the same effect as my Sorcerer levels? (Though just lookin' angry at the mainsail and having it rig itself was pretty cool.)

Yeah, I know John is the DM. I know we're playing old modules. I know I'm going to spend 90% of my time in a cave or a sewer. I'm farkin' cave pirate alright? Don't make me stick this hook in your eye.


Bubs: Are you still trying to wield an oversized two-handed axe in each hand? Or just one friggin' 'uge axe?

The one friggin' 'uge, yes. A two-handed weapon made larger is still considered a two-handed weapon. You'd have to start with a one handed M battleaxe (1d8) sized up to a L battleaxe (1d10). Or a Dwarven axe with the feat.

(Actually, hell... using the sizing rules you could wield a "halfling sized" greataxe (1d10) one handed, then scale it to a medium greataxe (1d12) just fine, since it started as a one-handed weapon. Meh. )

I still don't think that would work in the off-hand, though, because of that last line in MG. Though something like a Large Dwarven Axe in the main hand, and a normal Dwarven Axe in the off-hand would still work with those feats.

Unless you got something else? I swear I've seen like three different versions of this same feat in different printings.

Monkey Grip [Complete Warrior]
You are able to use a larger weapon that other people your size.
Prerequisite: BA +1
Benefit: You can use melee weapons one size category larger than you are with a -2 penalty on the attack roll, but the amount of effort it takes you to use the weapon does not change. For instance, a Large longsword (a one-handed weapon for a Large creature) is considered a two-handed weapon for a Medium creature that does not have this feat. For a Medium creature that has this feat, it is still considered a one-handed weapon. You can wield a larger light weapon as a light weapon, or a larger two-handed weapon in two hands. You cannot wield a larger weapon in our off hand, and you cannot use this feat with double weapons.


Oversized Two-Weapon Fighting [Complete Adventurer]
You are adept at wielding larger than normal weapons in your off hand.
Prerequisite: Str 13, Two-Weapon Fighting.
Benefit: When wielding a one-handed weapon in your off hand, you take penalties for fighting with two weapons as if you were wielding a light weapon in your off hand

If we are talking about rules I have a question...

If you use a dual weapon do you use the 1 1/2 times strength bonus applied to the damage of each side of it? Just made sense to me that you would since it is a two handed weapon that you use each end of. I can't find any rules on it though, so let me know!

Also answer my earlier questions!

I was reading Monkey Grip and its says you can use it for larger 2h weapons, but not your offhand(Without Oversive 2W Fighting) or double weapons. Checked the SRD, but wasn't able to
find any thing about monkey grip.

So are we still getting together tonight for D and D? I'm planning on being there, so be ready for some ass kicking Monk goodness!

So what are all you guys making for the D&D game?

I jus' need to know starting gold and I'd be good to go.
Max for the class or roll for it?

Vote now....

Umn...
Umn.........

Uh...


The ballot was confusing!

So... some background on the game John?

Setting?
Alignments allowed?
Anything else we should keep in mind?

some thing cool

im up for it and way allway me?

Sounds fine to me. I'll take a look at what I wanna play then.
Maybe a fighter or cleric type.

So not to be lame but I've been watching all of the Gygax tributes. This has sort of inspired me to run a "classic" game of D and D. We will be using 3.5 rules, but I'm going to dust off some moldy oldies to toss you guys into. So in two weeks instead of my Cthulu game we will be playing (of course if you guys want to) a D and D game.

1st level characters. All races/classes/feats and skills from ONLY the 3.5 PHB. Don't even bother asking about any weird items or classes from other books because the answer is no (Farve!). Of course this is only if you guys want to do another D and D game.

Vote now....

Farve?
Dustin?
Jeremy?
Bubbles?
Scott?

Hey guys I just wanted to drop a quick note here. Jennifer has jury duty today and I have a ton of stuff to get done again! Only this time it isn't fun internet stuff, but actual work at the house (damn it!). So I'm not going to make it again this week. I'll see you guys on Monday.

-John

Gygax isn't dead. He can't be killed until someone finds his phylactery and destroys it.

;_;

Well, you can only make your Saving Throws for so long...

Personally I think it's the latest Edition that did him in.

Millions of gamers scream out and then suddenly silence......


http://www.foxnews.com/wires/2008Mar04/0,4670,ObitGygax,00.html

Jeebus... did you check out that 'Crosswind Landings' link at the end of that video? They're bringing in some of those planes sideways.

Oh yeah and this is why I don't fly. Why any commercial pilot would try and land a jumbo jet with crosswinds bad enough to do this boggles my mind!

So I didn't check the blog at all this weekend so I have some business to catch up on.

Scott - Dude I'm sorry to hear about your Grandma. My condolences to you and your family.

Jeremy - Oh yeah Dustin is a little fruity maybe..... :)

Dustin - Are you coming to the game tonight? I have some cool Cthulu goodness for you. Muhahahahahahahahahaha.

Farva - Did you slide off the road? Well at least you have insurance and didn't end up in county lockup tossing some salad!

Bubbles - Dude I think that Dustin wants you man boobs.

Jeremy - Yeah the director of Black Devil Doll has my number! We are going to record a commercial and start pushing his film on our podcast. It seems that we have enough "street cred" for him to call us up and ask. Now if I can score some free swag off of him......

Well that is all I have to say right now.

Dunesmuggler is Scott. (Good luck with that... take whatever time off you need.)

Dustin, if you still want to hug Bubbles I can understand, 'cause his arms just are like wrapped around you and you feel like so safe 'cause you're like... not that you're gay or nothing but God you just want to bury yourself in his chest and just live there forever...